Today I would like to share my little story about listening to the voice of intuition versus to the voice of evaluation. A couple of weeks ago I felt a strong desire to get some support around my professional life. I was wondering what would be best for me right now, to resume working with my mentor, join a program, go for a retreat... Then I came across a program called Creativity Greenhouse. I loved its vibe and the images of the blooming flowers and that extra cozy and spacious house and the name of the project evoke in me a feeling of being surrendered by warm soft cotton. The program resonated with me and I felt that being supported by the feminine energy that the program was radiating with would be good for me. So my intuition was telling me to join the program and open myself to receive support.
And then the judgement started (oh yea) : I shouldn't spend too much money now, perhaps I should commit more to the mentoring and invest there or go for a retreat rather than join another online program etc. But my energy was gently pulling me towards the Greenhouse. So I set with a pen and paper and made some financial calculations. Well, right now I have enough money to cover my and my family's basic needs for the next 4 months and I know that in 4 months new money will be coming because in the spring I will be giving a few seminars for which some people have already enrolled. But until March...I might have some cash coming from coaching sessions (I don't charge a lot), I might throw a workshop or two but this income is uncertain and likely not very substantial. The voice of the evaluation was loud and clear-don't make any investments before March 2017. But there was the other voice, voice of intuition that was telling me "You don't know what other opportunities will open up to you if you allow yourself to receive the support. And you have the wisdom that will tell you how to make money if you need them. New ideas can come any time. You are a part of a bigger system that is taking care of you, it has been looking after you up until now and it will continue doing so."
I felt as if I was standing on crossroads and I could follow either of those voices. If I followed the first one, I would be operating from a certain point of view, I will call it egoic - I have some things planned and I can rely on them but I cannot rely on anything else. Following the voice of intuition on the other hand would mean that I acknowledge that there is something much greater at work than my little brain. I will call this viewpoint expanded. From this perspective you can see that always there is a potential for something new to be seen, done or experienced. It recognizes that as you go, new things become apparent to you. It knows that you are much more than your little ego and it appreciates the generous design of the world you live in, where there is need, there is supply once you reach out for it. Standing on the crosswords I followed the voice of my intuition and that's how I arrived to the program.
There is another part of the story, one day after the first zoom call of the program I decided to get familiar with one of the facilitator's work and I downloaded from youtube a couple of her webinars. One was about writing and self publishing a book. The voice of my intuition whispered 'Oh, it would be lovely to create a book and I will learn so much in the process and my desire to create and share will have a chance to be met and I always wanted to do it and now with what Mary says it actually looks not that difficult anymore'. And then the voice of evaluation came whining 'You don't have any experience in writing, you are too self-critical to get it done, you don't have the discipline to do such a big project without having a formal obligation to do it, you can't do it in English, you need to do it in Polish and then get it translated and not to mention that you don't have the money for the editing and translation, it will be very big time investment which probably will not lead to any return on the investment and maybe people won't like your book , etc. '. The voice of the intuition said 'But it is possible for me to write and publish books. I didn't see it before, I can see it now. And I feel it would be good for me to explore it'.
And then I go to check my email and I see a new email informing me that 10 000 euro is on its way to my bank account. It is a balance payment for a project I worked on a year ago. I did not expect this money. My ego couldn't know about it but it seems that the intuition somehow knew. Looking at my life and I see that the intuition tends to give me prompts that make sense in a larger scheme of things, scheme that the ego is not capable of seeing.
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